Wife: Drafted 2/27/13

“It was when I was happiest that I longed most...The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing...to find the place where all the beauty came from.” ― C.S. Lewis, *Till We Have Faces (Thanks Elise!)

Longing for when I meet my wife isn't the idea most men my age have. I suppose I'm different. Consider this being the prime time of my life, where life is abundant in opportunity, experiences, and frankly...freedom.

I understand and believe that God has made this promise to me.

To be a great man of God for His family...my family.
To be a great father to His children...my children.
To be a great husband to His bride...my bride.

I can't help but smile in my heart. Thinking over the many promises God has placed in my life. That He is faithful and diligent in seeing that good work finished in me.

The other night among dear friends we had a conversation of loving God. Sparked by a statement said almost a year ago.

"I want my husband to love God more than me..." - Michelle.

I remember my internal reaction that night. Immediately interrogating myself and dissecting my thoughts.
"Is that a different kind of love?"
"I thought it was the same...is there more?"
"I want to give my love all to my wife, but I love God"

Ephesians 5

 ¹ Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children ² and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.  ³ But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. ⁴ Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. ⁵ For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.^{[a] 6} Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. ⁷ Therefore do not be partners with them.
 ⁸ For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light ⁹ (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) ¹⁰ and find out what pleases the Lord. ¹¹ Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. ¹² It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. ¹³ But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. ¹⁴ This is why it is said:
   “Wake up, sleeper,
   rise from the dead,
   and Christ will shine on you.”
 ¹⁵ Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, ¹⁶ making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. ¹⁷ Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. ¹⁸ Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, ¹⁹ speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, ²⁰ always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Instructions for Christian Households

 ²¹ Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.  ²² Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
 ²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing^[b] her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰ for we are members of his body. ³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”^{[c] 32} This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Forgetting what your worth...

I try to figure out what details of my life are admirable, honorable, bring worth... Honestly at first, I can't think of many, but then I finally...finally remember some really great things. This launches me into a whole new kind of mood. One that is very opposite of feeling like a loser.

How I forget all the great gifts I'm blessed with... I get so jaded in the negativity of life, the dark areas, or the shortcomings in life. But instead, why do I (we) allow these things to consume the joy in my(our) lives.
I hang on the words of my pastor,

"don't let your joys be contingent to your circumstances..."

and I am immediately reminded of the words in John 10:10...

I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

As I meditate, I re-read it as,

"I came that Justin may have life and have it abundantly." 

Abundantly, eh? I specifically have been personally ushered in by God into life...and not just life, but the abundance of life.

I grab my sword and my heart is excited...
My Study Bible reads:

Jesus' promise of abundant life, which begins in the here and now, brings to mind old testament prophecies about abundant blessings. Jesus calls his followers, not to a dour, lifeless, miserable existence that squashes human potential, but to a rich, full, joyful life, one overflowing with meaningful activities under the personal favor and blessings of God and in continual fellowship with his people.

This is the life God has set up for me. A life rich, full, joyful and overflowing! 

I feel so dumb. Like I forgot the obvious piece in a puzzle or like I forgot how to write my name. God has written this great plan. (Jeremiah 29:11) And I've thought about it a billion times, but I FORGET. Do I need reminders? Yes. How often I get caught up in just the plain parts of life, the "tasks" of life, the "where will I be next?" part of life, the "why" of life...

Earlier today when I woke up from what you could call a sleepless night. I found myself living out Psalm 63.

....when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night, for you have been my help,... - v. 6-7a

David, who is away from the sanctuary (other translations say tabernacle) because he is fleeing from Absolom, his son. During his sleepless night he meditates on the memory of God's presence and promises and God's help in past times. These moments in reflection exhibit joy and praise...God.is.good...brings a whole different meaning right now...

Time to meditate. Maybe, you reading...meditate on the presence of God, His promises, and how He's helped you in times past...I know I'm going to right now. Be right back...

Other than all the times I can thing where He has protected me, helped me, or the pure experience of his presence. I keep getting scripture floating in my mind about promises or glory that we've received.
Romans 8 speaks strongly in my mind and as I read, like all the other times I've read this familiar text I can't help but get swept away by Paul's writing. I could just quote the whole thing, because it's really all awesome. But several of these we're extra sharp today as I read...I'll do my best to keep it down and focused.

Romans 8

v. 5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.
v. 8 Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
v. 9a You, however are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you.
v. 14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.
v. 16-17 The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs--heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.
v. 18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
v. 22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now.
v. 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
v. 26 Likewise the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groaning too deep for words.


v. 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
v. 30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.
v. 36 As it is written, "For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered."
v.37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.








I tried honestly to not just quote the whole thing. It's all awesome. But those are some scriptures that remind me of God's glory that He's gifted to us. We can see how the living in the flesh leads to death, but in the Spirit we are set free and dwells in us, and how we petition our hopes in Him, It makes my heart cheer more because it just doesn't stop there. He goes further and justifies us, we live and die daily, and we are made more than conquerors through him who loved us!

So why do I (we) forget the things that create in us that sense of self worth?

Why haven't I realized my self worth? Wondering what people find attractive about me, a reason why people want to hang out with you, or give you certain responsibilities. Not to take it lightly and that there are deeper reasons to why you are YOU or in this case, why I am ME.


The great things about yourself and realizing those things will generate the side effects of genuine confidence and realizing who god made you and appreciating that. Owning what God has made you.


I want to share some of these "things," or more like compliments I guess that started coming to me earlier...things I need to acknowledge.
 
"Dude, you have been getting in shape, and just ran a half marathon. Those are epic wins in my book! You're inspiring people to take action, you should acknowledge yourself for that." - My jiujitsu coach

"Thank you for being so dedicated...(in our Youth Ministry)"

Getting asked to share the word with our youth at Crosby.

Being a youth leader at my church and major responsibilities.

My younger peers looking up to me as a mentor.

My ability to be straight forward and talking about situations.

My musicianship.

...and I would have to say the list goes on..., but it's these kinds of things that we don't acknowledge, that I don't acknowledge about myself because I forget about them.

I feel so sheepish right now.

I'm blessed to be so deep in the word right now. I feel like its washing over my face. It's that grace like an ocean feeling...

Ezekiel 34:11-24

The Lord GOD Will Seek Them Out

 ¹¹"For thus says the Lord GOD:^(A) Behold, I, I^(B) myself will search for my sheep and will seek them out. ¹²As a shepherd seeks out his flock when he is among his sheep that have been scattered, so will I seek out my sheep, and I will rescue them from all places where they have been scattered on^(C) a day of clouds and^(D) thick darkness. ¹³And I will bring them out from the peoples^(E) and gather them from the countries, and will bring them into their own land. And I will feed them on^(F) the mountains of Israel, by the ravines, and in all the inhabited places of the country. ^14(G) I will feed them with good pasture, and on the mountain heights of Israel shall be their grazing land.^(H) There they shall lie down in good grazing land, and on rich pasture they shall feed on the mountains of Israel. ^15(I) I myself will be the shepherd of my sheep,^(J) and I myself will make them lie down, declares the Lord GOD. ^16(K) I will seek the lost,^(L) and I will bring back the strayed, and I will bind up the injured, and I will strengthen the weak, and^(M) the fat and the strong I will destroy.^[a] I will feed them in justice. ¹⁷"As for you, my flock, thus says the Lord GOD:^(N) Behold, I judge between sheep and sheep, between rams and^(O) male goats. ¹⁸Is it not enough for you to feed on the good pasture, that you must tread down with your feet the rest of your pasture; and to drink of^(P) clear water, that you must muddy the rest of the water with your feet? ¹⁹And must my sheep eat what you have trodden with your feet, and drink what you have muddied with your feet?
 ²⁰"Therefore, thus says the Lord GOD to them: Behold, I, I myself will judge between the fat sheep and the lean sheep. ²¹Because you push with side and shoulder, and^(Q) thrust at all the^(R) weak with your horns, till you have scattered them abroad, ²²I will rescue^[b] my flock;^(S) they shall no longer be a prey. And I will judge between sheep and sheep. ²³And^(T) I will set up over them one shepherd,^(U) my servant David, and he shall feed them: he shall feed them and be their shepherd. ²⁴And^(V) I, the LORD, will be their God, and my servant David shall be prince among them.^(W) I am the LORD; I have spoken.

One Another...

Helpful reminders that unity and working together are important.

We are capable in blessing one another, keeping one another accountable, instructing one another...as a few examples. Not that we want to but that we can and we should.

As I visited, Alliance Bible Church several weeks ago. It is important to know even though we don't have a specified leader to lead us, the church is us, the church isn't incapable of anything...

You yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 2:5 ESV

that's us...living stones. God the father is our cornerstone, our solid rock. But we are numerous, there are different types of people that go to my church. There are other people that go to different denominations of churches. There are so many different people...how can we be united?...

For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body— Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit. For the body does not consist of one member but of many. [...] But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. 1 Corinthians 12:12-14, 24B-26 ESV

so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Romans 12:5 ESV 

One Another Verses (ESV)

• you shall not lie to one another Leviticus 19:11
• you shall not wrong one another Leviticus 25:14
• show kindness and mercy to one another Zechariah 7:9
• Speak the truth to one another Zechariah 8:16
• do not devise evil in your hearts against one another Zechariah 8:17
• be at peace with one another Mark 9:50
• wash one another’s feet John 13:14
• Love one another John 13:34; 15:12, 17; Romans 12:10; 1 Thessalonians 4:9; 1 Peter 1:22; 4:8; 1 John 3:11, 23; 4:7, 11, 12; 2 John 1:5
• Outdo one another in showing honor Romans 12:10
• Live in harmony with one another Romans 12:16, 15:5
• welcome one another Romans 15:7
• instruct one another Romans 15:14
• Greet one another Romans 16:16, 20; 2 Corinthians 13:12; 1 Peter 5:14
• wait for one another 1 Corinthians 11:33
• have the same care for one another 1 Corinthians 12:25
• comfort one another 2 Corinthians 13:11
• agree with one another 2 Corinthians 13:11
• serve one another Galatians 5:13; 1 Peter 4:10
• Let us not provoke one another Galatians 5:26
• Let us not envy one another Galatians 5:26
• Bear one another’s burdens Galatians 6:2
• bearing with one another in love Ephesians 4:2
• Be kind to one another Ephesians 4:32
• forgive one another Ephesians 4:32
• address one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs Ephesians 5:19
• submit to one another Ephesians 5:21
• Do not lie to one another Colossians 3:9
• bear with one another Colossians 3:13
• admonish one another Colossians 3:16
• abound in love for one another 1 Thessalonians 3:12
• encourage one another 1 Thessalonians 4:18; 5:11; Hebrews 10:25
• build one another up 1 Thessalonians 5:11
• do good to one another 1 Thessalonians 5:15
• exhort one another Hebrews 3:13
• stir up one another to love and good works Hebrews 10:24
• Do not speak evil against one another James 4:11
• Do not grumble against one another James 5:9
• confess your sins to one another James 5:16
• pray for one another James 5:16
• Show hospitality to one another without grumbling 1 Peter 4:9
• Show humility toward one another 1 Peter 5:5
• fellowship with one another 1 John 1:7

The Beauty of a King, clothed in majesty...

Today is a day of reflection. I guess just like every other day it seems lately.

I often think of all the great creations that God has made, that He made me and uniquely purposed me for things great and small. Then I can't help but think, of how good. He. IS.

In my bible study, we've been studying Psalms. It's been great. I really get a sense of how His Word is alive. Currently the study I'm doing is in chapter 19. A psalm of David that declares the grandeur of God's abilities and that we can clearly view His invisible qualities.

How often do you look into the night's sky and enjoy the star and the moon? When was the last time you felt the warmth of the sun and gazed into the sea of fluffy white clouds drifting in the sky?

I have a unconscious habit of falling awestruck at the sun, moon and the stars or the clouds and the warmth of the sun on my skin. It just happens, you know?

Romans 1:19,20
19 For what can be mknown about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. 20 For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, nhave been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world,7 in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.

In other translations, the truth of God is place in us instinctively. That's awesome! It explains why, at least for me, why I feel this joy, this sense of awestruck, inexplicable comfort when I see the the oceans waves, the beauty in the sun rise and the eloquence of the night's sky.

I've heard my friends talking about the beauty of the clouds and sky. They smile and declare, "I know personally, Who painted that...!"

That's what it is! To know, that God the Father created all these magnificent things for us to rule over, to enjoy.

Genesis 1:26
Then God said, o“Let us make man1 in our image, pafter our likeness. And qlet them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”

How great is our God...

Let all the earth rejoice...!

At the end of Psalm 19, verses 13 and 14:

Keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins;

let them not have dominion over me!

Then I shall be blameless,

and innocent of great transgression.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart

be acceptable in your sight,

O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

My hope, my prayer to our Father in Heaven, Amen. \o/

Love...Philippians 4:6-7

So let the flood gates open and let me begin to just pour out.

I have encountered and observed all sorts of kinds of love. Love that's from your family, love from your friends, love from your significant other and this kind of love that you get from being a parent which is the best example of what God's love is for us.

I enjoy reading the "Love Chapter" in Corinthians! It talks about how we "do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal." We're empty, just plain, in fact we're are NOTHING and if you do not have love, you gain nothing. Love is essential is it not? Because without it I am nothing and without it I can gain nothing.
Corinthian's continues on to define what love is and it goes into specifics and very clearly defines love. I'll just go ahead and let it speak for itself.

1 Corinthians 13

 ¹ If I speak in the tongues^[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,^[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
 ⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
 ⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. ¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
 ¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

So...where do I find this great love? Or wait better yet, should I even be trying to find this for myself. It can get very confusing once your humanistic wants get in the way. In my faith, I believe that God has this awesome plan for me which includes this great kind of love. At the moment, let me be straight and say that it is tough to wait for this "thing"/"love".


Love, it's pretty epic. It's above faith and hope, it's the greatest. Let me clarify that other than the "Love Chapter" being read at weddings does not only symbolize the Love that a couple should share in marriage, but describes the kind of love from God that nothing can compare to. Never forget that God loves you like a father would love his child.

So, the heart of the matter is that I want so bad that when I do fall in love. It would be that magical kind. This sounds sappy for me to say, but I want to be that Godly man for my wife and my household. I've got all these qualities to want to be proficient at. Maybe I have this ridiculous outlook on love. I have faith in it and the purposes that God has given me. Here's some things I recently found that I'm holding on with...

"Faith means...knowing something is real, this moment, all around you, even hen you don't see it. Great faith isn't the ability to believe long and fat into the misty future. It's simply taking God at His word." - Jone Eareckson Tada

"Do no be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4: 6-7

Dear 25...

Well, it's been an interesting 25th year in my life. There was a lot to learn and see at 25. I guess that means I'm out of that "quarter life crisis" now that I'm flipping the number to 26. I started out my birthday I guess with exactly what every birthday should; with friends and people who care about you all around. Oh and cake, of course! It was a nice surprise! I send a special thanks to the Crain Family for surprising me with a cake tonight during youth. I honestly wasn't expecting it. Good one guys, good one.

So with year 25 over and 26 well on it's way, 3 hours and 25mins in...It's been wonderful so far. As with I guess any other age it doesn't seem any different from 24, 23, 22...and 25. Of course I'm enjoying the shower of "Happy Birthday" notifications I'm receiving on Facebook. Ha.
A friend of mine in one of the posts said..."It's gonna be a great year!" I believe it. I refuse to go backwards and who wants to take steps backwards anyway? There is lot of new experiences to be had and well lots of people to meet. The fire department is hiring again and I'm on the list. I'm ready for a career and I'm ready for life to give me 100 percent of what it's got to give.

So, cheers 25! It was an interesting year, good knowing ya. Here's to 26, may you be a wonderful year indeed full of potentials and wonderful things!

The Lord, he is my strength and he is my guiding light. Thank you for your love and your grace and for the purposes you've put in my life. I wait patiently for whatever you have in store for me. God my center!

Beauty in the Highest...

After hanging around Pandora listening to random praise and worship music I have to conclude that God's been trying to tell me something. Hey gave me a word and that word was: Beautiful. Then I thought of what beautiful might mean to me?
So when I think beautiful off the top of my head I think of a beautiful woman, flowers, the sky, smiles, water, music, romance, kisses, and I guess the list could go on. What is it that we constitute as beauty or beautiful?

Webster's dictionary defines Beautiful as this: 

1: having qualities of beauty : exciting aesthetic pleasure

2: generally pleasing : excellent

— beau·ti·ful·ly adverb

— beau·ti·ful·ness noun

And I guess for what I was going for was "Beauty" Which is defined as this:
beauty noun beauties plural.

1: the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit : loveliness

2: a beautiful person or thing; especially : a beautiful woman 

It's gotta be different for everyone, right? I mean because everyone has their own ideas, ideas, and what not...so the vast crazy ideas of what beautiful is crazy and well in to the millions.
I gotta say though, that other than what I think is beautiful isn't all that God asked me to meditate on today. But just how beautiful His creations are in their uniqueness and the art of complexity He's able to create.

It helps that today is just an awesome example of good weather here in Texas. It's sunny outside and clear skies. The sun is out and shining out with warmth. There shouldn't any reason for today not to be a glorious day. Today is the day, that he has made and I will rejoice and be glad it in...it says in Psalm's 118:24!

I don't know what and why this blog came about. I remember I had this saying..."there are far to many beautiful things in life to dwell or obsess in the things that steal your joys." I think that's very relevant.

My pastor put it best in one of his sermons. "Don't let your circumstances be contingent to your joy!"
Amen.

Today Lord, my we fall to our knees and worship the beauty and your majesty. The great creator of all things that is on this earth. Blessed are we to have such access to the things we see, feel, hear, and experience. Beautiful, awesome and mighty! Thank you, thank you, thank you for all that is from You! God, my center, my all, my commander! Amen!